A Beautiful Mess

A Beautiful Mess

a beautiful messWhat a beautiful mess. Life can be such a beautiful mess! We can all be such beautiful messes. One day everything can be going our way, and the very next day, everything seems to have changed. Sometimes things really have changed, and sometimes it’s only our hormones or other personal factors that have changed. Certainly, terrible and sad things happen in this world, and sometimes we have to walk through our worst nightmares. There is hope in those situations, and a light to lead the way, but that is for a different article.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

Today is about handling the normal beautiful mess of our beautiful lives. Today is about the beauty of your heart and state of that heart. Today is about learning to count on the calendar before letting hormonal fluctuations rule the words that come out of your mouth and/or your perception of the intentions of others!:) Today is about eating regularly so blood sugar fluctuations don’t rule your feelings, words, and actions. Today is about letting go of the lies that you tell yourself or that you let others tell you, and giving yourself a chance to really live this life you have been given.

Women of all ages often seek me out for counsel. I love to listen and help them see more clearly what is really going on in whatever situation they find themselves. As I said earlier, sometimes something very hard has happened. From a cancer diagnosis to the death of a loved one. From an terrible first date to an unfaithful husband. From the uncertainties of youth to the uncertainties of middle age. From worrying about who to marry, to feeling inadequate as a wife. From longing for children to wondering how to be a great mom. You see life is a beautiful mess and we are all caught in it as long as we live in this wonderful but imperfect world.

IMPERFECT

Imperfect. That’s a wonderful word. We are all imperfect. What a relief! Not only am I imperfect, but you’re imperfect too! Not only are we imperfect, but every human on this earth is also imperfect. We are all imperfect together, and that’s ok! We have imperfect bodies. We have imperfect abilities. We have imperfect relationships. We have imperfect hearts. What a beautiful mess.

Where do we start to clean up this beautiful mess? What do I say to these wonderful women who come to ‘equally imperfect me’ for help? First, I pray for wisdom. I pray and pray for wisdom because the last thing I want to do is make someone’s beautiful mess messier. Unless that is the only way to healing. Sometimes it is.

Honestly, today we are talking about those situations which are really only in our minds. Misperceptions that come from normal hormonal swings, lack of sleep, stress, comparing ourselves to others, and thinking inward all of the time.

LISTEN

The first thing I do is listen. Listen and listen. Praying for wisdom the whole time so that I can clearly see the situation and a helpful plan. Unless someone has truly been attacked by another, or any true terrible tragedy has happened, I ask this question. “Where are you in your cycle?“

I can tell you that very often, that’s the culprit. If that time is close at hand, we hug and reschedule if needed.:) Keep track of that little guy and don’t let him run your life, no matter what those fluctuations do to your feelings. I promise, I understand the difficulty, but your emotions do not have to rule your actions, nor are they a free ticket to bad behavior. Words and actions can hurt, so do your best to be aware of what is going on inside your body and don’t explode on someone. If you do, ask forgiveness and restore the relationship, and move forward.

SELF-DOUBT

Which brings us to the second most common trigger to bring unhappiness to women. Self-doubt. We girls are so hard on ourselves and compare ourselves to others, or worse, to our own unrealistic expectations. We demand so much of ourselves and give ourselves too many things to do that we can’t be great at any of them. Let’s learn to be great at being ourselves. Let’s work on growing beautiful hearts that are full of patience, kindness, and love. Yes, we need to get things done, yes we want to look our best, yes we want to be all things to all people. Let’s learn to love ourselves the way we should. Let’s look lovingly into our hearts, and acknowledge the beauty there. Let’s gently pull the weeds, a little at at time, and tend the garden of our hearts with gentleness, feeding and watering them with goodness until it overflows. Love yourself, sweet girl! You are wonderfully and beautifully made.

INTROSPECTION

The third common joy robber is too much introspection. Yes, we need to nurture and care for ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we have to think about our feelings or what we want or wish for all of the time. The days I spend thinking about poor little me are the worst, most depressing days of my life. We are designed to look to the interest of others. We are meant to love and help other people through this beautiful mess. We are created with a desire to find our passions and pursue them with all of our hearts. We are meant to live with joy and enthusiasm in spite of the beautiful mess that life throws our way. Thinking outside of ourselves is one of the main keys to happiness and fulfillment.

Love yourself and love others through this beautiful mess called life. One moment at a time. Just right here, in this moment. Then the next, and the next. One step at a time we will make it together, imperfect creatures united in love.

Happy beautiful life!!!

Suzanne

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